Why do our expectations about our future go unmet?  Why is it that so many people start out with clear goals in life for their career, finances, health and relationships, yet, years later they find themselves at a completely different end-point?  Why is it that we often end up in life far from our desired destination?

The direction we heading in, not our intention about where we want to be, determines where we will end up.

Having good intentions is never good enough.  Trying hard is also not sufficient.  The direction we travel in, determines our end-point.  We will end up where the road that we chose to follow lead.  It is a principle we can’t change.  It doesn’t matter if we believe it or not.  It’s like the principle of the harvest – you reap or harvest what you sow.  You cannot harvest cucumbers from melon seeds.  Galatians 6:7 (GW) warns “Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God.  Whatever you plant is what you’ll harvest.”  Anything we put our time, energy, money, or focus on is an act of sowing.  Reaping is the results or consequences of what we’ve sown.  The ramification of our reaping depends on the amount of effort and time we put into the sowing.

Today’s decision affects tomorrow’s destination.

We need to value that every decision we make is a footstep on a road with a particular destination.  For example:

  • We don’t get overweight overnight. Each second helping, every sugary snack leads us there.
  • It isn’t the economic downturn that bankrupts us. The recession just hastens the process.  We were already moving in that direction, one financial decision at a time.  Let’s say, using the credit card for new shoes or buying a new cell phone when we knew we didn’t have the money for that purchase.  Economic slumps don’t so much cause problems as that it reveals them.
  • A person doesn’t succumb to infidelity overnight. It is the result of a long list of small decisions over a period of time.
  • If you skip class don’t be surprised when you fail the exam.

Decisions – not intentions, dreams, ambitions, desires, aspirations, wishes, hopes, prayers, beliefs, intellect, or circumstances – determine our destination.  This applies to all areas of our life – financial, professional (academic or career), health, spiritual, physical, relational (parenting, marriage, friendship).

Choose wisely in case you take the wrong road and end up in the wrong place.  Proverbs 4:11 (CEV) affirms God’s guiding hand: “I have shown you the way that makes sense; I have guided you along the right path.”

How do we get to where we want to be?

  1. Consult the right map

The intention of maps is to share information on where things are and their relationships.  This allows users to search, plan and make sense of things.  It guides people from one point to another, helping them find their way.

There is no knowing that does not begin with knowing God.
John Calvin (1509-1564)

There are right and wrong maps to consult and follow.  One of the key decisions we make in life is the decision regarding which map we are going to follow.

  • Psalm 19:7-8 (NLT) “The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.  The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.”
  • Psalm 119:105 (NLT) “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
  • James 1:5 (NLT) “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”
  • Psalm 25:4-5a (NLT) “Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me.”
  • Jeremiah 6:16 (NLT) “This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.  Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.”

In addition to following God’s map, His Word, and praying for His guidance, the Bible also encourages us to seek wise counsel from others.  Asking other people that ‘has the right map’ doesn’t mean we lack wisdom, it’s evidence of wisdom.

  • Proverbs 1:5 (NLT) “Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance.”
  • Proverbs 12:15 (NLT) “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”
  • Proverbs 13:10 (NLT) “Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.”
  • Proverbs 19:20 (NLT) “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.”
  • Proverbs 11:14 (NLT) “Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.”
  • Proverbs 15:22 (NLT) “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.”

Don’t follow the advice of a person that have never been to a place you want to go or who are at a destination you don’t want to be.  For instance, would you take investment advice from someone that is financially successful and independent or from someone on their fifth scheme trying to make money fast?

  1. Follow the map

Knowing what is right, doesn’t make the difference, doing it does.

Knowing what to do, and not doing it, is as bad as using the wrong map.

  • Deuteronomy 7:12 (NLT) “If you listen to these regulations and faithfully obey them, the Lord your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he promised with an oath to your ancestors.”
  • Proverbs 13:18 (ERV) “If you refuse to learn from your mistakes, you will be poor, and no one will respect you. If you listen when you are criticized, you will be honoured.”

People often don’t do what they know is right, but choose what makes them happy.  The uncomfortable truth is that when we stand at the crossroads between prudent and happy, we can lie to ourselves.  We begin ‘selling’ ourselves on what we want to do rather than what we ought to do.  Jeremiah 17:9 (GW) says “The human mind is the most deceitful of all things.  It is incurable.  No one can understand how deceitful it is.”  Decisions that fill us with happiness today may very well fill us with regret tomorrow or lead us away from where we want to go.

Instead of doing what is right, we choose the road of least resistance.  The easy way out.  When we look at others around us and become discouraged because it seems like ‘choosing right’ over ‘wrong’ is making no difference, 2 Timothy 4:7 (CEV) encourages: “I have fought well.  I have finished the race, and I have been faithful.”  Keep moving in the right direction, one decision at a time.  Keep on the right road.  Follow the map, even if we can currently not see the benefits, or when it feels like we will never reach our destination.

  1. Observe the road signs

The main intention of road signs is to regulate, warn, guide, and inform road users.  We can use them to our advantage or ignore it at our peril.

We are free to decide, but we’re not free from the consequences of our decisions.

A principle means actions result in foreseeable outcomes.  We need to connect the dots between choices made and outcomes experienced.  We should not go on blindly believing everything will eventually work out.  Proverbs 27:12 (NLT) “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.  The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”

When the inevitable becomes the unavoidable, people often start pointing fingers at God.  Where was God when __?  How could God allow this to happen?  Proverbs 13:13 (CEV) teaches “If you reject God’s teaching, you will pay the price; if you obey his commands, you will be rewarded.”  Asking for and receiving forgiveness for disobedience doesn’t cancel the consequences of our decisions.  Nevertheless, even if we have to suffer the consequences of our decisions God will be faithful and remain with us through it.  Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT) “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.  He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Prayer: Lord, please help me to connect the dots between the choices I made and the outcomes I am experiencing.  May I also not be ignorant to warning signs.  Give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen

  1. Pull over and ask for directions

Choices are now; outcomes are later.

Today’s decisions have ramifications down the road when it is too late to do something about it.  Proverbs 4:10-15 (MSG) cautions “Dear friend, take my advice; it will add years to your life.  I’m writing out clear directions to Wisdom Way, I’m drawing a map to Righteous Road.  I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns.  Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip.  Guard it well – your life is at stake!  Don’t take Wicked Bypass; don’t so much as set foot on that road.  Stay clear of it; give it a wide berth.  Make a detour and be on your way.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) advise “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”  We often deceive ourselves about why we choose the things we choose.  But what these verses assert is that God will make the best road to follow obvious.  If we trust with all our hearts, refuse to lean into our limited understanding, and submit every aspect of our lives to Him, the best path will become unmistakably clear.

  1. When on the wrong road, stop and change direction

We get to the place we want to be, the same way we get to the place we don’t want to be.  By putting one foot in front of the other and moving in a specific direction.  One decision at a time, over time.

If we have reached a destination we didn’t intend to visit, or we realize we are heading in the wrong direction, we need to stop and change direction.  We can turn around and backtrack our steps.  To get from where we are to where we want to be, we need two things: a change in direction and time.  We didn’t get overweight overnight, so why do we expect to lose the extra 5 or 10kg within a week?

Face uncomfortable truths.

Sadly, in life we can change direction, but we can’t ‘backtrack’.  We’ve lost something forever such as a season in our life (you are only young once), you only get one ‘first’ marriage.  Time with a loved one is lost forever.

  1. Keep your eyes focused on the road ahead

Sometimes it is better to avoid the billboards next to the road.  Because, what captures our attention influences our course.  People tend to steer in the direction they look.

What we pay attention to, what we give our attention to, will lay hold to our time, money, energy and focus.  It influences our direction and destination.  We should not get distracted from our objectives.  In Proverbs 4:25 (NLT) we read: “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.”

How did I get here?  One step at a time.  One decision at a time.

Road closure

Unfortunately, time, bad decisions and experience may put some destinations out of our reach.  Dreams can’t come true anymore, the road is closed.  These are the inevitable disappointments in our life.

When we face a road closure, we should remember God can always be trusted.  2 Samuel 15:25-26 (NLT) “Then the king instructed Zadok to take the Ark of God back into the city.  “If the Lord sees fit,” David said, “he will bring me back to see the Ark and the Tabernacle again.  But if he is through with me, then let him do what seems best to him.”  Like David we need to say ‘Lord, I submit to Your will.  I will continue to believe.  I will still trust You; I will still obey; I will continue to follow You.  God, You know best.’

Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray, search me, and know my heart, test me and make sure that I am going the right way.  Lead me on the best path for my life.  Grant me the courage to makes changes when needed.  Thank you that I can rely on Your Spirit and Your Word to guide me.  Help me to persevere until my destination is reached.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

No one can travel so far that he does not make some progress each day.  So let us never give up.  Then we shall move forward daily in the Lord’s way.  And let us never despair because of our limited success.  Even though it is so much less than we would like, our labour is not wasted when today is better than yesterday!
John Calvin (1509-1564)